Nowhere to Turn to
This letter was sent to my friend Pamela Geller of atlasshrugs2000.com
Dear Pamela,My name is Phoenix, a 32 yr old from Malaysia. I got your email from the Refuge from Islam website. I apologize beforehand if my email has no relevance to you or to your cause. It’s just that I have no where to turn to to find answers.Anyway, I was born a Muslim in Malaysia with a Muslim parents (my mom was actually a christian converted to Muslim). Since I was small, I have been raised, or at least tried to be raised as a Muslim. However, deep inside me knows that it is not for me and I really find it hard accepting Muslim teaching and living a Muslim lifestyle. I have since very young wanted to break from this cocoon of Islam being part of my life but it is a difficult journey when you are living in a Muslim majority country. Even though I am registered as a Muslim, I have never really live a Muslim life. I am more of an Agnostic kind of person if you may say. The trouble I have is that living in a skin of Muslim and actually being an Agnostic is really eating on me. I tried not to be a hypocrite but it was so hard doing so. In fact, beginning of last year, I started seeing a psychiatrist for depression.Until recently I made some really serious thinking about getting my religion renounce and changing my name legally. However, after doing some research on the Internet, it seems like a painstaking process. In fact, its a process that may cause me my liberty, not to mention the prospect of being prosecuted. If you have not known, to renounce from Islam (in Malaysia), one has to submit an application to the Sharia Court for proceedings and they will determine whether I can or cannot renounce my faith. I do know that there are thousands like me that has submitted their application and apparently a few percentage of them has been approved.My concern is, do those who had or had not been approved are being subjected to any types of penalty, fines, punishment? Is there actually any successful application? I tried looking for those who have successfully renounced their religion legally but failed. In fact, I tried surfing the website faithfreedom.org and several other websites but I think the government or at least the ISP have blocked these sites.I wanted to reveal this to my psychiatrist but are not really sure. He’s a Muslim himself but I believe he’s a more open-minded person. I did open up to him about my sexuality though. My family knows very well about my sexuality and they sure knows well that I don’t practice Islam, but I haven’t told them about my intentions of renouncing my religion legally. I mean, I really have nothing against Islam or other religion, it’s just that it is hard for me to believe in something I don’t, what more being forced to believe in it!Do you think I should open up to my psychiatrist? Do you think it’s the right time for me to do it legally ere in Malaysia or should I wait a few more years? I’m really confused. It’s really hard living a lie and I certainly don’t enjoy being a liar.I hope you can help with some advice. Hope to get your reply soon.Sincerely,Phoenix
Pamela forwarded your email to me and I take the liberty to respond.
The first thing you should know is that you are not alone. There are millions, not thousands, but millions of ex-Muslims who live in Islamic countries and keep their thoughts to themselves. We are not at a stage to come out of our closets yet. Islamic countries are still dangerous, very dangerous for apostates.
But thing are changing rapidly. More and more Muslims are leaving Islam silently. We are destroying the foundation of Islam. You see the edifice is standing. It still looks towering and intact. But don’t be fooled by the appearances. In a short time it will collapse. I know of apostates living in Saudi Arabia who are part of the ruling elite that are cautiously moving the country away from Islam.
By keeping your disbelief a secret you are not being a hypocrite. You are part of the underground army of ex-muslims. Secrecy is our strategy. We reach to Muslims, break their chains, while they are still pretending to be Muslims. When our number reach a critical point, which will be in a few short decades, we’ll rise up and suddenly you’ll see that many people around you who pretended to be Muslims were not.
Of course you’ll feel lonely. I suggest you join online communities of apostates. You can do a lot more for our cause if you are not discovered. If you reveal your disbelief, you’d put your life in danger. There is nothing we can do for you if you live in and Islamic country and are caught. You can be persecuted and your human rights denied. You can be shunned by your friends and family and you may lose your job. There is no gain in putting yourself through this much trial.
If you keep your disbelief a secret you can awaken tens of people through the Internet, not the ones you know, but people from other countries. If each ex-Muslim awakens a few more people, in a short time we’ll conquer Islam. This wasn’t possible before, but with the help of the Internet, it is now.
The help that Pamela is offering is limited to those whose life is in danger and live in a western country. Generally, these are teenagers who fear their parents may kill them. One such case was Rifqa Barry. Even then, it is not easy. There are legalities that have to be overcome.
If you live in an Islamic country, your safety is in your hand and the best way to remain safe is to keep your mouth shut.
Instead of feeling depressed feel happy because you are beating the Muslims at their own game. Muslims pride themselves to be deceptive, or what they call taqiyah. Denial of it is part of their deception. Their god is also a deceiving deity, khairul makereen. So imagine that you are part of an army of ex-Muslims, fooling the most deceptive people on earth. This should put a smile on your face. Every time you fool a Muslim into thinking you are a believer, don’t feel bad; smile for having fooled him. Our day will come. But we have to play our cards wisely. Remaining out of harm is the most important aspect of our fight against Islam.
I don’t think you should tell your psychologist about your disbelief. It is not prudent. Hippocratic Oath doesn’t mean anything to a Muslim doctor. As long as they believe in Islam they can do a lot of evil things to you and destroy your life with clear conscience.
Wish you happiness.