The In-laws

The In-laws

Hi,

I am in love with a Muslim guy, i met him in office about a year ago, where i used to work, firstly i was not known about all the feelings he has for me, because for me he was my trainer, who gave me the training of the process, and i respect him a lot. My co-colleague told me that he is interested in me, as he was always there to help, always appreciated my work the most, but i denied as he was a Muslim. Looking wise, personality wise, and nature wise he is the best, every person either the boy or the girl appraise him. He started calling me, sending me the messages as i and he used to work at the same shift, i also replied to his messages, and we use to talk long in the midnight and share with each everything our whole life, he confessed his feelings about me, but i said no as he was Muslim and there is no future in this relationship, but he did not leave me, he only wants sometime with me, as when sometimes i got late he calls me, messages me where i am, he is a very caring person at heart. I also fell in love with him and now totally mad in love, he is my first and the last love. He is not having his father, he told each and every thing about his family, about his first relationship as well. We care for each other a lot, understand each other silence, when we meet sometimes, he can tell me from my face what problem i am facing. For me he is the best. I have to leave the job from there as due to some management issues. Both of us were not happy because we will not be able to meet each other, from then but still we kept ourselves in contact, because we love each other. We have not done anything wrong, because he knows his limit and i know mine and he always appreciated me for that. I trust him blindly. We also knew that any day could be the last day of our relationship and that happened and our dream got break.
Suddenly my dream got broke, when my parents came to know about this through my phone, the call history, my father was after his life, i prayed to him not to do so, because he is the only one for his mother, and he love his mother a lot as she remains unwell most of the time. I also mailed him and told that my parents came to know about us. He just replied back that i should mail him to tell that i am safe. My parents were not at all ready as i belong to a Hindu family, they gave me all sorts of reasons and even i was not allowed to go on job or to do anything for a week, but i told them that i will not do it and will have no contact with him. I started my usual life again, but i was not able to forget him, i mailed him that i am safe and he has not to worry. We started again talking to each other in the same way. Now he is getting married and he has not even seen the girl because his mother has forced him to marry as soon as possible otherwise she will kill herself, so he has to agree because he cannot loose his mother. I have talked to her mother as well as he has told everything about us to her mother because he was very much depressed because i was not well when my parents came to know about it. I am still in contact with him as he wants my support, but how will i live i dont know without him. I am not able to forget him, his thoughts, his love, care for me. because i know i will not find this type of person ever in my life.
Please help me and tell me the way to forget him, because I know we cannot meet at any cost. Please help me. Please.
Sakshi

 

Dear Sakshi,

There are two problems in your case.  The first is that this man you are in love with is a Muslim.  One factor that causes divorce is religious differences. It is important that both spouses have the same belief. It helps consolidate the marriage better.  Now, I certainly don’t recommend that you convert to Islam. Islam is a bad religion. It will ruin your life and that of your children. He can convert to Hinduism, but the best thing is that both of you leave religion aside.  More and more people are becoming freethinkers and find happiness in their own independence rather than relying on traditions and imaginary external forces.

I recommend you share my response with your friend.  I can certainly help him leave Islam.  Ask him to read my book. Truth will set him free.  If he refuses to read my book, leave him. He is not the right person for you. A person who does not know and does not want to know is not right for anything.

The other problem is your families. It seems that both your father and his mother are immature and sick people.  Your father wants to kill this man for the crime of loving you and his mother blackmails him by threatening to kill herself.  These two individuals need psychological help. But that is not your problem. You have to take care of yourselves and make sure your sick parents don’t screw your lives.

Most girls writing to me about their Muslim boyfriends subconsciously know that this person is not right for them. That is not what I perceive in your message. Your boyfriend seems to be a good person and maybe the right person for you.

I assume you must be very young, maybe in your early twenties.  I assume this because of the level of control that your parents have over you.  Maybe your boyfriend is a bit older than you. This is also an assumption based on the kind of control that his mother has on him. She is trying to control him through guilt.  This is the weapon of someone in a weaker position.

It would be a mistake for your boyfriend to marry a woman he does not know and does not love.  Marriage should be based on love. Millions of years of evolution have designed us in such way that we fall in love with our partner so our relationship is happy and our offspring receive the best loving environment for their survival.  Islam goes against human nature.  It’s an invention of a psychopath. As a narcissist poor Muhammad did not know what love is.  His sick religion is also loveless.  Everything in this cult is wrong.  Marriage without love is lonely.  It is also toxic for children.  Most Muslims suffer from one or another form of psychological disorder. It is mostly because they grow ignored in loveless families.  Parents in these primitive cultures can’t see that forcing their children into loveless marriages is the main cause of the unhappiness and emotional problems in their world.

It would be also unfair for the other girl to enter in a marriage unloved.  I don’t understand why parents do these cruel things to their children.  This is all due to ignorance.

I suggest your boyfriend not marry this woman.  I also guarantee that his mother will not kill herself. She is blackmailing and bullying him. She is an immature selfish woman.  Selfish people will destroy everybody’s life but never theirs.  He should not worry about her.  This is how she controls him.  He must cut his umbilical cord from his mother. Children’s duty to their parents is to give them love and company. They cannot solve their parents’ psychological problems.

Don’t let your parents decide whom you should marry. They are not going to live with that person. It will be you who would be living with him or her, long after they are dead.  Parents don’t have the right to choose partners for their children against their will and you should not give them that right.

My advice is to let time solve your problem. Time does marvels.  Let a couple of years pass. Both of you will be more independent and hopefully will try to get away from your families and live on your own.  This is the first step towards independence.  Your boyfriend must also live apart from his mother.  This may present a financial burden on him but it is very important for him to get away from her influence.  She must not be encouraged to be a parasite to her son.  He can provide for her, if she depends on him financially, but they must not live under the same roof.   Meanwhile, you can continue seeing each other secretly.  In a couple of years you’ll know more about your love for one another. If it is a real love, it will only improve and if it is not, you’ll know and will go your separate ways.

When time is right and financial circumstances allow, get married and live happily. If your parents want to have a part in your happiness, welcome them; if not, ignore them.  You cannot do this now because you are dependent on them.  Time changes everything.  Every day your parents lose a little control over you and you become more independent. Emotionally healthy parents look forward to it and will let their children go free. Less mature parents become dependent on their children.  That is the problem with your boyfriend’s mother. She wants to cling on him forever, even at the cost of his happiness.  As long as she can make him feel guilt, she has him by his reins. He must not give in to her shenanigans, victim play and emotional blackmailing.

I sense there is something beautiful between you two. There are a few obstacles. These obstacles can be removed.  Religion is one obstacle.  If your boyfriend agrees to read my book that obstacle will be removed.  The other obstacle is your parents.  Time will take care of that.   Your love for each other is great. Don’t let these external factors destroy it.

As usually is the case, controlling parents give up when they realize they have no control over their children and try to win their love back. As parents sense their old age approaching they realize they need their children and will try to win their affection.

I have seen this many times. In my university years a friend of mine fell in love with a Christian girl.  He was a Baha’i and she was an Assyrian Christian.  Both were Iranians.  Baha’is have a strange law that says two adults cannot marry without the consent of all four parents.  This law is absurd. It gives undue power to parents who can abuse it. But my friend decided not to marry his girlfriend without her parents’ consent. They waited for years.  Eventually her parents gave in as they realized the love these two had for each other was not going to go away.   A few years later I received a picture of this couple with their beautiful children.  The good news was that her parents started to love their Baha’i son-in-law like their own son and could not be happier with him.   So give time a chance, your parents will come along. Fortunately for you, neither one of you need your parents’ permission to marry.  What you need is some financial security. Both of you are working so this should not take long.

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This article has 46 comments

  1. Now who will save that 'other girl'?

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  3. Love Jehad!
    A Iranian muslim man who was student in England entrapped this Hindu girl on the pretense of love.Parents righty objected to that and said we have no objection if he converts and become a Hindu.She talked to him.He agreed to that .He pretended that he has left Islam and they had Hindu wedding in England.They had two children with Hindu names.He decided to to take her and children to Iran for holidays.There she and her children were converted to evil creed called Islam.They all came back to live in England but she and her children remained Muslim.
    Any person who believes in Evil creed of Islam thug Mohmad can not be good.

  4. Dr Sina you have written so much about Islam and I have learnt about this evil creed from you.I am ever so grateful to you.
    But this advise you have given to Sakshi not appropriate.This advise would be considered good if Sakshi had fallen in love with a man other than from Islam ie Christian,Sikh, Budhist, Jain.This would be considered balanced advise.When it comes to Muslims falling in love with a non Muslim is not out of love but to do Allaha,s dirty work for conversion.Muslim men and women do not know what love is what you have described. Hindu man or a woman always looking for only one life long relationship.But the Muslims have extra options in their mind even when they are entraping one like Sakshi.The Muslim men do the drooling use Taqqya when fishing for a women out side their religion and once he gets the hindu bride there is celebration because the good dead he has done for Dead Allaha like MoHamad.
    Hindu marriages are not arranged marriages and how Sakshi has described her parents is unbelievable.Hindu parents will oppose such marriage proposals only in case of Muslims but never threaten to kill their own daughter.
    It appears Sakshi is has not learnt about Islam like many Hindus men and women.She is only following Bollywood examples.Many Muslim actors in Bollywood have Hindu wives who they divorce to find another prey.And these foolish women have not learnt the lesson.
    Sakshi this man does not love you.You have been hypnotized by this man by his drooling and use of Taqqya to the hilt to entrap you. My advise to go to faithfreedom.org read Dr Radhy Sham,s article on this subject.
    A Muslim who has 4 wives and 20 children is still capable to to entrap some one like you.Just wake up and save yourself otherwise you are going to doomed for ever.One more wasted life what for?

  5. I would only disagree on the point that Spouses have to be of the same religion to be happy… I have seen a number of inter-religious marriages & have seen no cause for a complaint. Love should be the base of a marriage.

  6. Ali Sina is a moron
    Friday 29 June 2012, 4:51 pm

    This post is the epitome of simple mindedness and thoughtless conviction! Than again the leader is a zion or the devil himself

  7. U are a moslem. A wolf in a sheeps clothing !!! why don't you read QQUURRAAN,SIRA,HADITHS !!! Look at ISLAMIC history, ISLAMIC countries, ISLAMIC societies ,ISLAMIC culture ? See what happened to AFGHANISTAN under TALIBAN/AL QAEDA rule . DO any moslem country accepts, recognizes nonmoslems as equal or recognizes equality of faiths, equality of religions, equality of gender, equality of laws for all ? ISLAM is evil,hatefilled, with full of cruelty, bigotry, violent and fascism,dogma . ISLAM is uncivilized, primitive dogma. ISLAM is incompatibel with all noble human values – equality, freedom, peace, tolerance , democracy, equality of gender , love for all, oneness of humanity .

  8. Barney, why depend on someone else to know about any religion. Read the Quran, Hadith, Sharia and whatever is there and come to decision yourself. But one thing I can assure you with 100% certainty is that Islam does not teach respect for other religions and people who follow other religions. Try preaching or even talking about Christianity in Saudi Arabia and see what happens. No need to go to Saudi Arabia, go to Pakistan and try this!!!

  9. Hmm i dont think this is a good place to for knwing islam because ali sina is not a muslim.. Technically, everything that he replied only wants to ppl to know how cruel and u should get away from islam as soon aspossible.. As i read throughtout the comment.. Did u know that all the religion teach to respect other religion and not talk bad about it? what im saying is that if u want some opinion about certain religion.. Try talk about it with a real deal and not some stranger on the internet that u didnt even know his face, background, religion or real purposes.. Once u reakise the truth u might regret what u r doing..

  10. And more than 99 % Muslim men marry Hindu girls just to convert them. In kerala and other parts of India they did LOVE JEHAD. It is very seldom that love is genuine of the Muslim man. It is basically only for trapping our girls into Islam. These Muslim men are paid lakhs to convert, for every Hindu girl they are paid around 5 lakh plus one lakh as a reward. For the first few days after marriage, they will be very helpful and then they will reveal their true colours. I am not saying this man will do the same, but you can't rule it out either.

  11. Very good Dr Sina. But let me, here point out just one thing. If this Muslim man refuses to bring up the children as non-Muslims, or refuses to leave Islam or to read your book, then leave him. (You have said that if he refuses to read your book, then leave him). This is actually a golden chance to set this man free from a mental prison of Islam. And if this man is set free, he may help in setting others free as well. If and when he contacts you, please publish his response. But if he marries the girl who he has not even seen, then no point and no hope in setting him free. So it is important to stop his 'arranged marriage' or should we say 'forced marriage' to this girl. Arranged marriages may also be ok, but not forced marriages though I am in favour of love marriages only, or at least marriages where both spouses know each other for long.

  12. @ali sina
    this might be a late response but anyway i'll give my opinion

    the reason why sakshi's parents are opposing her is because we hindus have how sick/filthy the muslims communities are in india. they definitely dont want their child to live in such a community. they dont want their child wearing burkhas/hijabs/veils/bags/containers .the muslims have done nothing gud to india and there wont be any future. sakshi's boyfriend may be gud guy but hinduism and islam(+xianity) are diametrically opposite religions.so obviously the parents will oppose or be wary of sakshi's relationship. her parents know how barbaric islam is and its followers are. and who knows if he is deceiving her and trying to show fake love which the muslims are gud at. every now and then we hear/see news of women falling in love traps of muslims or women/girls kidnapped by muslims and later forced to marry them or get sold out to brothels and forced to do prostitution. there is even a love jihad crap going around in india. so obviously her parents will oppose her relation with muslim. they are just trying to protect her.

    i wont say her parents will not oppose her relationship if her boyfriend was a hindu but they definitely and strongly will oppose if her boyfriend was muslim/xian.

    islam has a bloodiest history in india and most of indians have atleast a tint of hatred in their hearts towards islam/muslims.wherever there is a muslim majority community in india there is slum , opposite maynot be true. their ideologies dont match with ours. their food habits are different. their way of living life is totally different.
    your suggestion for sakshi and her boyfriend to leave their religions sounds gud. but wat religion will they take now ?xianity?? i definitely dont suggest it. even though jesus looks like a gud guy , xianity definitely is not a gud religion. if they become atheists , it is more than welcome , atleast they will be like gud humans and live peacefully.

  13. What a great thread of discussion!

  14. North India is more savage than South, guess why? It was North India which came under Islamic rule more than the south. Her parents savagery can safely be attributed to Islamic misogyny than some thing inherent in Hinduism. People of Punjab are known to be misogynist even in their swear words and Punjab region was the worst victim of Islamic brutality. Swear other's mother or sister is a remnants of sexual slavery forced by Islamic rulers. This behavior could not have originated from within in a place where people worship goddesses.

  15. The Religion should not come between a relation or Love.It's true.But in case of Muslims,only you will see the Muslim guys get interested in non-Muslim girls.why?Why the opposite is not allowed in Islamic society?It is a big hypocracy.And then if you can contribute your religion,your family then why not that Muslim boy can do it for you?

  16. Surely you must have a higher concept of love. True love is part of the marriage relationship, but it is much more:

    "God is love"

    "Love thy neighbor as thyself"

    "And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

    Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—

    But charity is the pure blove of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him."

  17. Sakshi & (Ali Sina)
    I was reading your story for a while. Then Ali’s advice, then your reply, again Ali’s. Atlast the end of a divine love story. Anyway my congratulations. Hope you are from India. Sakshi, don’t curse a big population altogether because you have been fooled by someone. It has nothing to do with religions. As far as islam is concerned, it is true that there is nothing namely ‘love’ in islam. The very meaning of ‘nikkah’ itself is sexual pleasure. To a great extend it is quiet naturally a truth. Here, what you mean by sincere love, it’s only a mental perception of your sexuality. It is a psycological illness. There is nothing like what we say “the true divine love” in reality. It’s only a delusion and it can be seen in Indian movies only. Your own monument Taj Mahal, we say is a great symbol of love. but, contrary to the beleif Shah Jahan used to have many wives and sex slaves other than Mumtaz. Anyway coming to the point, let it be a great lesson for you and many girls all arouud. You may thank God for you did not address any sexual abuse from that guy. Normally it happens. So my advice is, be a good daughter to your parents firstly, then select a guy from your community with your parents consent as per your tradition (which is always helpful in a married life)and live a peaceful life with him. My personal experiences with many friends, taught me that most love marriages ends up in big tragedies. What to say about intercaste marriages where religion itsef becomes the biggest problem. So, have a nice time yani.

  18. Yeeeeees! Finally, the website is working!

  19. Ali,
    .
    This lady is most probably from a North Indian town or city; she confirmed she has a brother in London – so they're relatively wealthy. But looking at her English-vocab it's clear that she has not received the best of education [and that's not at all Sakshi's fault] – and that indicates either a) the family is not wealthy or b) they don't prefer girl-children to be on an equal footing as their son/s.
    .
    Both of you need to realize that this is I-N-D-I-A – and not just some cosmopolitan Mumbai or Delhi. In smaller towns, villages, (especially in places like rural Rajastan) it's not uncommon for a 13 yr old girl being married off to a 17 yr old boy. There are several specific rituals even in South Indian marriage traditions (like the groom's uncles lifting him on their shoulders) that indicate that the Hindu-marriage was meant for teenage children – and not consenting adults.
    .
    This can be further traced back to what's called the "Ashrama system". There are 4 ashramas every person is suggested to live through. 1 – Brahmacharya (from childhood to teenage or post-teens), 2 – Grihasth-ashrama – married living with spouse, 3 – Vana-prasth-ashrama – leaving married life and both man & wife going to "vana" or forest – to live as forest dwellers retiring from materialistic pursuits, 4 – Sanyasa – the last step in a person's life – is seeking moksha.
    .
    Although explicitly this system has broken down, the society at large still employs this same system. Children remain a responsibility of parents even at age 20 or 22 or 25; until they're married off. This thought-process has been ingrained into the parents for generations; and when parents are exposed to Western traditions of post-modern era, some of them accept it, while others loathe.
    .
    Both "her father & his mother" are not selfish as you carve them out to be. To them, setting up a good life for their children is part of their responsibility as parents. And in the Western set-up, such parents will be seen as evil-incarnates – but with-in an Indian context, they're just NORMAL.
    .
    Now, I wouldn't disagree if one was going to say "NORMAL" in Indian-context is pure-evil to free-thinkers; but neither would I agree to it. I don't believe in a black-and-white approach to any thing Indian – because almost all of it are different shades of gray. In the traditional 13-yr-old-girl-married-off-to-17-yr-old-boy set-up, the teens are able to better adapt with in-laws and they grow to love & treat each other as partners. Subsequently genuine cases of horrible-married-life scenarios were few & far between (not to say there were no such bad-marriages that some (especially women) had to live through). So, that is a shade of gray; similarly the current marriage-age of 25 or 30 leads to higher divorce rates – also a shade of gray.
    .
    On a different note, it's vital to note how Sakshi quickly turns around to say "all Muslims are like that" – this is a very highlighted feature of Hindu & Indian people – of all persuasions (sorry to be generalizing). I'm sure there are millions of wonderful Muslim men & women out there – that are genuine prisoners of Islam – but due to this one event, Sakshi will now not befriend another Muslim (or at least be many times more careful) going forward.
    .
    MN

  20. How the heck someone becomes so reasonable and intelligent . I really envy you MR, Sina ,,,,,,

  21. In the meantime, it is working if you access an article page instead of the home page.

  22. Dear admins on alisina.org

    In the last 2 weeks everytime I tried to open alisina.org I got a default page. Is there some kind of ongoing hacker attack against this site? Please, if you could fix the problem I would be very grateful. I love to read your articles and debates.

    Keep up the good work

    -FoT-

  23. After all this, how did you find the knowledge to identify the deception in Islam :-) ). Thank you for putting words to our feelings. I knew something was wrong with Islam but was too choked with emotion to put it out in proper reasons. Thank you for your work. I am actively circulating the information in this website among friends and family.

  24. Call on me if I seem to jump in the reasoning train and I will explain what I wrote. What that I have written is not all that I wanted to say or not all that I thought about this subject. Call on me if necessary.

    Even now as I write this Girl Children in areas were wars with Mohammadeans happened will be aborted in foetus stage. This is a direct result of the curse of the islam.

  25. The burning of the wife along with the husband practice has been stopped after the British capture of India. If you note that it will happen only in the warrior castes in India (Punjab Singhs, Rajasthan Rajputs and Down South Vermas, Thevars and other warrior castes). I can show that they happened especially when the women's husband was killed in a fight with the mohammadeans. You know what happens to women held captive by mohammadeans. Other caste women generally meekly submit to Islam. This warrior castes women do the honours to themselves.

  26. Two girlsI know personally, one a colleage and another the elder sister of my colleage had to marry the mohammadean who photographed them in sex act, due to this blackmail. The colleage is now taking pain killers meant for w omen after surgeries, I don't know why.

    So thats the reason (their own girl falling for mohammadean boys) for the parents helplessness and such a juvenile reaction.

  27. The girls parents eventually have to live with a girl whose literal entrails are exposed for the world to see. This feeling is like falling into a sceptic tank for the whole family. I have seen families going numb from the shock having to loose the daughters. This has been termed Romeo Jihad here.

  28. Mr Ali,
    Thank you on your advice to Shakshi and the way you saved her life (If its all that she says it is).
    I need to refute you on your one comment "Easter Cultures Sickens me". This is founded on reports about Parents beating children and Wifes being burnt alive in funeral pyre I hope.

    My version is all this juvenile punishment of the parents came from the anguish of the foolishness of their daughters in being attracted to Mohammadean boys.
    Most all of the nude pictures of regular indian girls in circulation in the internet are made by Mohammadean boys who covert them, talk sweet words to them and meet them in the bed naked. I say most just to be politically right.

  29. Dear Sakshi, your dad is correct , he is not against your love but against the Islam religion, everyone knows that muslims are very cruel and brain dead zombies. Dear there are still lovely years ahead, continue your education again, meet people. and i'm sure by the time you turn 25,26 you will completely forgoet this guy and will be thanking FFI team for helping you out.

  30. Dr. Sina has given you the best possible advice. Love blinds our judgement. In time, when love fades away we suddenly wake up and realize how stupid we were at the time. Your parents always want the best for you. The problem is that they cannot know how you feel. You are different person than your parents and your situation is also different. They must understand this and let you make your own decisions! Your parents are allowed to give you advice, but they have no right to force you into anything. This is where I think certain cultures have crossed the line.

    Talk to your parents and let them know that you are not a little girl anymore. You don't necessarily have to wait, I think it is the right time to confront them. And if your father turns violent call the police! Anyways, I think you are on the right path now. Life has taught you a lesson about love and Islam. But do not worry, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I think that after this event, you are much more experienced than your parents in the subject of love.

    It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

  31. Love is blind. That's why it is important to date long enough for the infatuation to wear off to the point that you can see each other clearly and make more rational observations. Yet Muslims don't even allow dating at all.

  32. Never. Most educated Iranians were not like that at all. I was not a devout Muslim. I was an ignorant Muslim, like the majority of Muslims.

  33. Al, were you ever a zealot during your days as a muslim? Did you hate the Jews too?
    When you first came in contact to the West World, you said that they regard you as their own.
    But how was your view as a devout muslim you once was toward their kafirdom?

  34. This is true if the parents take their religions lightly. If they are zealot believers it will be a cause of friction. Muslims are often zealots or become zealots at one stage in their lives.

  35. I am sorry to hear that. But you are still too young to be a character judge of people. This guy shows some interest in you and you fall in love and think he is the one. This is normal. In time you will have more experience with men and will be more careful. But the experience will help you to be more careful before falling in love.

    What I don’t understand is why your parents beat you. Can’t they have normal parental relationship with thier children? Eastern cultures are so sickening.

  36. Islam doesn't have the concept of mutual respect for this to work.

    But even so in the other cases you mention, Dr. Sina is right that the studies show that religious differences are the number two cause of divorce after finances.

  37. I know bad news hurts, but it is best to know the truth.

    Think of this as a valuable learning experience and remember not to get interested in a Muslim again.

  38. thank u ali..

    u were right..this the most third class person i saw on earth..my parents came to know about it today and they have beaten me very badly, called him up to take me away for marriage my parents were ready for marriage..but he did not supported me..instead of it he said i was after him and he has made no mistake.. all muslims are like that..recently came to know he is having an affair in the office with some other girl..they are the cheapest on this earth..

    thank u for saving my life..

    Sakshi

  39. Ali Sina:One factor that causes divorce is religious differences. It is important that both spouses have the same belief."

    I don't know about this because growing up I knew a lot of kids that came from jewish & christian parents,atheist & christian parents but still managed to maintain a happy household.
    Hawaii for eg. has a lot of buddhist & catholic households where each others beliefs & cultures are greatly repected.

  40. Good lesson we can learn from. If you are non muslim and single, then you happen to get acquainted with a muslim that looks good and nice. Don't get too close before you become a prey of falling in love with a wrong person.

  41. Hi Sakshi,

    You shed a bit more light on your situation in this second message. You say this man is not going to leave his religion. In that case he is not the right person for you. A person who does not want to learn the truth is not worth any consideration. Just leave him. Any Muslim can turn to a beast without notice. Never trust a person who says he believes in Muhammad. You never know when a Muslim wants to deepen his iman (faith). When that happens he is transformed from Dr. Jackal to Mr. Hide.

    At 22, you are too young for marriage. Statistics show that the highest rate of divorce is among those marrying at younger age. A good age for marriage is late twenties.

    The first love is never the last. Every person falls in love several times in their life. There are more loves for you in store. This Muslim was certainly not the right cup of tea for you. You have a lot more love for him than he has for you. If he really cared about you as much as you care about him he would not have wanted to marry someone else.

    Give up thinking about him and move on with your life. Don’t try to fantasize being with him. You have several more years ahead of you before thinking about marriage. In these years live as a young woman and enjoy your life as youths do. This is an important and the best part of your life. Why would you want to throw it away and getting married so soon? Marriage will come and it will last many years. Believe me it is often not as good as you expect it to be. But youth is a stage that will pass sooner than you want it. It’s a time you will remember and cherish for the rest of your life. Don’t sacrifice it by marrying too soon.

  42. Thank you for your reply, but he is not going to change his religion i know him very well, and by October he will get married for sure, he is not ready for it at all. I dont know how will i live without him, and you guessed it rite i am 22 years old and he is 29 years old,we don' t care about the age difference, as my mother got married at the age of 22 and my father was 30 years old at that time. He loves her mother a lot and for him his responsibility and he cares for her a lot more than me, which i always appreciated. For both of us the the definition of this relationship is:-

    "We are not be with each other..but we still feel each other..we are not able to see each other for long time..but still we feel that we are looking each other's each and every activity..we cannot hold each other..but still we feel each other's fragrance..we cannot listen to each other..but still we feel that we can talk nd we listen to each other virtually..we feel each other's presence everytime around us..that we r touching each other..talking to each other..laughing with each other..sharing each other's thot..our world where there is no place for any showoff..no negativity..only pure love is there..no one can enter in that world"

    My parents will not agree, i know because they believe in their religion and their respect and the status they have in the society and for that they can take my life also, as they have tried this and also have asked me to leave the house, but they did not do so. I am day and night living in this fear that don' t know when my father is going to take his life. He is very much scared of all this. Even its about a month that we have not talked to each other because of our parents attitude, they always keep an on eye me on my phone each and every activity what i am doing, where i am going to whom i am talking, i am not allowed to go anywhere not allowed to talk to my friends who are girls and even this mail i am writing hiding from parents, as they don' t know how to access the internet. For them to love someone is the biggest sin and if he is an intercaste. My cousin sister recently got married and it is her love marriage they were against it, but her parents was not having any problem. My parents want that i should just work as per their rules, they don't want my freedom of doing anything. As per today's world they have not changed themselves, my younger brother lives in London, he is having all that freedom all that right which being a girl i don' t have. How i am living in this type of Environment i know as they are not at all supportive on my part. Please tell me what should i do, because i cannot live this type of life, i will end up my life and i know if anything will happen to me, he will not live. Please help me..please please..

  43. I agree that this is indeed another great reply. Thanks for elaborating on the importance of love in marriage and the contrast with Islam's pathological heritage from Muhammad in a marriage culture without love.

  44. "Again a great reply by Ali Sina".

    So true Mr.Zakariya, so true.

    You never cease to amaze me Ali Sina. Just love to read all your writings… they're wonderful indeed.
    Much love to you Sir…

  45. Again a great reply by Ali Sina. Wonderful. I will suggest Sakshi to read this article and re-read and re-read until she can consume the whole picture out of it. Time will pass, and if time is utilized by this couple properly than the test of love will also be given. She should ask her boy-friend to read Sina's book. If he agrees and read it, he will ultimately leave Islam. If he does not agrees to read, she can leave this man easily. Dear Sakshi, please follow Sina's advice.

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