Bitter Love: Another Saga of a Muslim Man and a Western Woman

Well, my name is C. I am married to a Muslim Arab man. I was born and grew up in the United States . I was 22 when I met my husband through a mutual acquaintance. Our relationship started online for 3 months until we finally met in person in Rome.

When I went to meet him, I did not tell my mother whom I lived with because I knew she would not approve of me meeting a strange Muslim man. Honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking. Here I was, only 22, and running away from my home, telling my family I was going to work when really I was getting on a plane to meet a complete stranger.

To make a long story short, I ended up falling for him and I eventually traveled with him to his country and later married him, despite hearing stories of guys using girls for their passports and everything. I felt these ladies who got used were older or unattractive. Here I was, a little younger than him and I always considered myself to be a pretty girl. Growing up, lots of guys liked me. Plus, being that I am light and blondish, I felt I was exotic for him so that’s why he was attracted to me.

Anyway, as fate may have it, I ended up filing for him and he came to the USA. Prior to him coming here, I was having doubts about Islam. My Roman Catholic background was just way too strong. My relationship with Jesus has always been a very personal one and I will even go so far to say, growing up I was the most religious person in my family, always praying and listening in church. Still, Islam felt exotic and different. I admired how Muslims seemed so devoted and unshaken, so I was quick to marry him in a mosque and accept a Koran from his family which was given to me the minute they met me.

I pretended to embrace the religion for him, but deep down, I saw how racist these people were. I grew up believing all people were equal, regardless of religion. For them, they feel all non-Muslims are dirty. As an animal lover, I also couldn’t accept how they seem to despise animals, which are God’s creatures and as a Catholic woman, I also admired San Francesco and San Francesco di Paola for all they did for the animals. I can go on and on about the reasons this religion and life style turned me off.

I started to have vivid dreams of Jesus. The summer before he came to the U.S.A., I was miraculously reunited with both people who baptized me when I was a baby. A few months ago, I also went to Europe and prior to leaving, I happened to have a dream where I was told to pray to Saint Augustine. I really knew nothing about Saint Augustine, so I googled him as soon as I woke up from that dream. To my surprise, I just so happened to have this dream on the same night that Saint Augustine is celebrated. Again, I knew nothing about St. Augustine or when his saint’s day was!!! After reading about his life, I was moved to tears. For me, it was too big of a sign that I just so happened to dream about a saint from an Arab country, prior to Islam in Algeria.

To make matters stranger, after a long time of not being in church, I walked into a church and the priest just so happened to be quoting Mark 7:18, which is about Jesus making all foods clean. All these things just felt like signs to me that this life of Islam is not for me.

At one time, I believed my husband loved me. I still love and care about him deeply, but I feel he might never change. He never defended me to his family who treated me terribly, especially his mother who humiliated me by putting on my wedding dress and mocking me after I wore it. He never even defended me against his friends. It’s almost as if they came first because they were his same culture and religion, while I was just a dirty Western girl.

Things are so complicated now. He was an angel when he first came here, sometimes working 3 jobs for me in a day to make money for me. Some days, when I was sad, he would even cry with me. Then, he changed after he met this old Syrian Alawi man (btw, my husband is Sunni, not that it really matters). Anyway, this old man sexually harassed me several times even asking me perverted questions about my mother. My husband just laughs with him. He blamed me for the sexual harassment and says I am just saying this because I don’t like him.

Recently, he has moved to another state where this crooked old Syrian guy offered him a business opportunity to manage a taxi cab company. This Syrian man had several businesses in my state, but the City shut down all his businesses so he moved to another state and my husband followed him. My husband still visits me, but I can’t believe if I was his wife and he loved me that he would leave to run a business with a man in another state. He keeps saying he couldn’t get a good job here. Worse yet, he pretty much makes it seem like he wants me to break up with him now. He keeps giving me ultimatums that he wants Muslim children and if I don’t move to Ohio our relationship is over.

I am going to start Med school, so moving to another state is not possible at this point in my life. He does not even have a place there and I know his relationship with this old man is not solid, because this guy had also employed other young Arab guys who were friends of my husband and then he fought with them and kicked them out of his life.

All the same, I told my husband before he came to the U.S.A., I could only stay in this state and that I was still a student. He agreed. As for the Muslim kids, I just can no longer agree to this. I told him, even though before our marriage I agreed to appease him, this was before I knew the truth about Islam. Now I know, I can’t raise my kids to hate me and my culture and religion, while being close to him and his family who hate me.

For a while, he seemed open to the idea that kids should be what their mom is. He even said for a while to let them decide and he even would listen to me when I talked about Jesus. Now, this has all changed. His Arab friends as well as being in contact with his family again have destroyed our relationship more.

I’m hurt because I really felt I was starting to change him and he became a gentler person. Either way, I’m lost now. I have nobody and I’m severely depressed. I feel this is the end of my relationship.

My family supports me, but they don’t want to hear me talk about my problems with him. They feel I made my bed, so now I should lie in it. I alienated them so much by marrying him secretly. I also have no close friends. Do you know of a group for women like me, currently married to Muslim men or ex-wives of Muslim men? I just want people to talk to.

I am only 24 now and I feel like life is over. My two year wedding anniversary is coming up and I know everything is over. I need some comfort without people judging. I cry all day long. Some days, I can’t sleep or eat. My husband acts annoyed by me instead of comforting me. His ultimatum about Muslim kids has hurt me beyond belief. He knows I won’t accept.

My only hope is that this man will convert to Christianity. I know it’s close to impossible. Do you have any suggestions for talking to Muslims? I just want some peace, even if him and me leave each other tomorrow, I care about him and want him to see the truth one day. Sorry for this long email. Thanks for reading and for allowing me to vent. Please write back and let me know what you think.

 

***

Sorry to bother you again. I just feel so compelled to write to you because I know you were Muslim at one time and I appreciate what you do to expose Islam. I am also trying to find out what the turning point was for you. My husband does not even like to admit there are apostates in Islam! He dismisses it as they are liars or trying to get U.S. nationality or be spies for Israel.

Anyway, today was a rough day. My husband was visiting me for the past few days and this friend of his kept calling, so I screamed while my husband was on the phone and this prompted him to recite talaq. We are still married on paper. Islamic marriage means nothing to me. Still, I know it means something for him, so I am very depressed he would say it after 2 years.

Anyway, from what I understand, you are not practicing any religion right now. I am not sure if you are agnostic or atheist or if I’m wrong and you are into some type of religion, but may I ask, did you always have doubts about Islam or were you at one time devoted? What made you finally see the flaws in Islam? How old were you?  I am obviously Christian and even if I can’t get my husband to convert to my religion. Is there any way I can get him to see the faults with Islam?

Every time I try to have conversations with him to discuss the violence in Islam and the hate Muslims have for non-Muslims, he accuses me of being racist or tells me if I respect him I wouldn’t talk about his religion. For a while, it seemed he welcomed my conversations. Now, his friends have changed everything as well as pressure from his family. Very frustrated. I wish there was a forum or an outlet to meet other women in my similar situation.

 

Dear C,

One thing I can tell you is that life is not over and things are not as gloomy as they appear to you now.  In fact as I see it from my vantage point I think you are in the best time of your life even though you can’t see it now.

This man is not right for you.  Your marriage with him was a mistake and it will bring you nothing but sadness. You cling to him and desperately hope the impossible. The truth is that the best thing for you is to get out of this so called marriage.

You are only 24.  This is the beginning of life.  You have 70 more years ahead of you. Yes you made a mistake, as if no one does. Sometimes mistakes are so innocent and yet the consequences are so severe that it seems unfair.  Imagine you drive a car. You become distracted for a second and an accident happens that leaves you crippled for life.  That is a big price to pay for such a tiny mistake. That is life.

In your case your mistake was huge, but fortunately its consequence is not that big, at least not yet. You don’t have a child, which means you can end this abusive relationship today and forget it completely.  Yes it hurts. But the hurt will go away soon and once you meet another guy.

I am not a religious person. You may say I am agnostic, but for all practical purposes I am an atheist.  I don’t discard the possibility that there might have been some sort of intelligence behind the laws of physics, but I don’t believe in any god intervening in the affairs or the design of the world.  However, I know about the power of faith.  People believing in Jesus and God can see miracles happen in their lives.  I am against fanaticism, not against belief. If you can believe in Jesus this is the moment that your faith can come to your help and pull you literally out of this nightmare you have put yourself in.

All those dreams and those spiritual experiences you are having are telling you that you need to get away from this abusive relationship.  You can believe that God is sending you subtle messages. A rationalist may say those are the voices of your subconscious mind.  In either case you must listen to them.  You must get out of this abusive relationship. This man does not beat you, at, least not yet. But he is emotionally abusing you and these abuses become more intense as you become more dependent on him emotionally.

Islam transforms the psychology of its followers. Muslims are not emotionally healthy people.  They are narcissists, all of them, and to the extent that they follow their prophet. The insanity of one man is bequeathed to his followers and they all show the symptoms of malignant self-love.  That included me when I was still a believer.

The reason your husband and his family and friends disdain and belittle you is because they are narcissists. They can’t help it. It is by demeaning others that Muslims can feel good about themselves.  You can see that in the comments they leave in this blog. They behave like savages – are abusive, violent, arrogant, bully, misogynist, dictatorial and backward and yet all their comments are about how bad are the western countries. Even after America has sacrificed so much to bring democracy to Iraq and Afghanistan, a great majority of Muslims hates America and accuses Americans of killing Muslims. The concept of fairness is alien to these people. They are genuinely incapable of fairness.  Fairness is one of the most important faculties that make us human, distinct from animals.  Muslims lack fairness.  The evolution of humanity in Muslims has not yet happened and as long as they follow a psychopath there is no hope that it will ever happen.

After Americans left,  Iraq is ‘drowning’ in terrorist attacks  American solders were defending the people against the terrorists but since the terrorists were Muslims all Muslims hated the Americans.  This insanity is unique to Muslims and its root is in the Quran and the mental illness of its author.  Muslims can’t tolerate a non-Muslim killing a Muslim even if that Muslim is a terrorist who murders them and rapes them.  This sounds unbelievable, but it is true. If you save the life of a Muslim by killing another Muslim who was about to kill him. The person whom you saved will hate you for killing a Muslim and may want to kill you for  it. There is no logic in this that you and I can understand, but this is the insanity of the Muslim mind.

There is a story of a man who went to Muhammad after hearing he wanted to kill his father. This young man, the son of Abdullah ibn Ubay, begged Muhammad that if he wants to kill his father, allow him to do it. He reasoned that if another Muslim kills his father, as a dutiful son, he will have to take his revenge and kill a Muslim for a kafir, which would mean he would go to hell. But by killing his father  he will not be tempted to sin. This is Islam for you.

Muslims are the dirtiest people and call others dirty.  This dirtiness is a different kind of dirtiness. It is associated with belief.  You can be the cleanest person but if a drop of rain falls from your clothe on a Muslim he believes that you have defiled him.  Because of your faith you are considered to be najis, untouchable. This is not something ignorant mullahs have made up. This teaching comes from the Quran. The Quran says unbelievers are najis.

Muslims project their own undesirable traits on others and despise them for what they don’t like in themselves. But their hypocrisy is such that while they disdain and disparage the west and believe the non-Muslims to be najis, they do everything they can to become refugees in the kafir countries that they hate.

You ask about the turning point in my life that made me see the light and hope to make that happen for this man you love.  This is not something that happens outside you. It is something that happens inside you. To see the light you need to have conscience, be fair and have empathy. When I was a child (10 years old) we lived in a village.  My mother kept a few chicken. They laid eggs which we ate.  One day my father said he invited a guest and asked my mother to kill one of the hens. I hugged the hen selected, hold her to my chest and cried, begging my mother not to kill her. I had seen her grow, and fed her. I could not bear the cruelty of killing her just so our guest can eat chicken. When I was 11, one day of spring, when I was coming back from school I found a little bird fallen from the tree. I could not find his nest. I took him home and tried to nurse him. I gave him minced meet but he could not digest it and died. I buried him and sat next to his little grave crying for hours.  I had a compassionate heart when I was a child.  Cruelty and injustice to others pained me. They still do. I could not understand why Eid Qurbai, the day Muslims sacrifice animals and spill the blood of innocent beasts is the most joyous day for them. How can the sight of blood make them happy?

Don’t expect miracles. There is something missing in the psyche of Muslims.  They don’t have empathy. They don’t have conscience. They have no idea of fairness. These are faculties we expect in evolved or spiritual people.  Muslims don’t have them. Their spiritual faculty is underdeveloped.

Muslims do good deeds, which really is not good deed but mere following the Islamic rituals, for reward. That is all their spiritual evolution allows them to do.  They don’t do any act of goodness for the sake of feeling good about it. It must be for rewards. This alone tells you they are spiritually midgets. We kafirs don’t do good deeds because we expect a return. We do it because it is the right thing to do and makes us feel good. That is not the case with Muslims. It is all about Allah seeing, writing it down and paying you back 10 fold when you die. If this is not pathetic what is?

I know it sounds outrageous and many ignorant people will call me hate monger for saying these things, but the truth is that Muslims are not fully evolved humans.  I don’t give a damn what ignorant people think about me.  I am telling the truth from my perspective, whether people like me or not.  People with conscience exist among Muslims, but they are not the majority and they end up leaving Islam when they learn about it.

Your parents are right in washing their hands and telling you to lie in the bed you made for yourself.  People have to learn from their mistakes.  However, if you were my daughter I would tell you leave this man today.  He already pronounced talaq, which although to you means nothing to him it means divorce and that is final. The legalities are just formalities for him.  If I were you I would jump up and down with joy.  File for divorce and get out of this abusive relationship with this neanderthal now. Kick him out of the house and change the locks or even move to another place where he can’t find you.

It is possible that once he realizes he is going to lose you, and if he still thinks he needs you and has not taken full advantage of you, he may come begging you to take him back.  Don’t be fooled again.

Young people give too much importance to love. The truth is that love is very transient.  You will feel sad for a few days but it will pass sooner than you think. Go out and find friends. Join dancing classes, cooking classes, or become a volunteer. Just don’t sit at home.  Get out and do something.  Twenty four is too young for marriage.  You have plenty of time to find your soul mate and create a happy family.  Ten years from now, when you have a career, a loving husband and a couple of adorable children you may think about now and smile, thanking God for pulling you out of this mess.

Write in the comments. There are other women who have been in your situation. They will leave their comments and you won’t feel lonely.  I am also going to revive the forum of faithfreedom.org where we had a section dedicated to women married to Muslim men.

Be happy.  Getting rid of this man is the best thing that could have happen to you. Don’t worry about helping him.  You can’t help those who don’t want to be helped.  Go to your church when no one is there, sit on your knees and say, Jesus, I have come back to you, please accept me..  Then walk out with confidence and assurance that you are in safe hands.   Go to your parents or call them and tell them you made a mistake and now you have come to your senses and want to walk in the light.

Finish your studies first.  There is no rush to get married. Muslim men shatter the confidence of their women. This is the first thing they do to control them.  Regain your confidence.  Future is all yours.

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819 Responses

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  2. Nadia says:

    Please join our page and help other sisters by sharing your stories!

  3. Love & Peace says:

    May I ask that Alisina, who are you? if you really want the best of your reader, identify yourself to us.  

    • Anonymous says:

      I am so glad you are out of that marriage. You have been used but you have a chance to gain your life. Jesus paid for it please do not waste it another day by being spiritually emotionally or physically with this man nor his people. He is one with his religion you need to be one with Jesus he gave everything for you to be free. Take hold of him and be free to live life abundantly! :)

  4. ayesha7 says:

    You don't know Islam at all . Your statements are not true. Do not degrade this religion because you made a mistake and want to make yourself out to be some kind of innocent victim.

    • Demsci says:

      //"Your statements are not true."//

      You simply deny something which does not suit you. Or frightens you.

      But what happened in this story may well happen often and again, and again. You should think about the long run and try to somehow fix the problem instead of only denying it, thereby perpetuating it.

      And you show yourself to be prepared to "throw your fellow woman under the bus", saying she lies and that the responsibility for the drama was hers and not Islam in any way. In order to save the reputation of your beloved religion.

      But you seem prepared to betray her for that, by not even giving her the benefit of the doubt.

      At the very best you have a different interpretation of Islam than that abusing Muslim-husband had. But don't you see that that man acted because of his interpretation of Islam? It is shown so clearly here and in many places. And don't you know about Mohammed declaring women insufficient in intelligence? Don't you know about the rule that the testimony of 2 women equals that of 1 man under Islamic law? And you must know that men can marry up to 4 women, but women can never have more than one man.

      If women's rights are in contradiction to how many Muslim men interpret and practice Islam's holy texts, don't you think the fault lies with that interpretation of Islam?

      Or maybe even with Islam itself? For being too vaque, incomplete, unclear, prone to misunderstanding by millions of men around the world? And for being considered divine, making it impossible to improve the clarity of Islam?

      You think the drama happened because of the woman, but what if the drama happened because of Islam? Or a misunderstanding of it? If that is true, then it is going to keep on happening.

      And please don't assume that woman or the posters here do "not know Islam at all". She and several writers/ posters are EXMuslims or experts on Islam. Maybe YOU don't know Islam or maybe you interpret Islam in your own cherrypicking way.

  5. IMU says:

    I have two answers for you C. 1) If your story is true, I will try helping you and would surely provide you inputs on how to proceed. Please inbox me at zealchat@yahoo.com. 2) If your story is false, meaning it is only been written here to make this so called "religious debate", then a simple advise to all.. emotions are not confined to religions… even a muslim girl if cheated would face the similar agony… have fun bye

  6. Michelle says:

    Oh girl I can relate to you! I married a Muslim man on a whim and it has not been easy. Our cultures are so different that it's hard to co-exist, or to have a great relationship. Remember that good relationships require: friendship, passion and commitment. Ask yourself: is he a good friend to me? Is there passion? Are we committed? If anything is missing, it's time to reason why. It would also be a good idea to learn about abuse so that you can recognize it in your relationship. 

    To tell you my story, and to make you feel less alone, I married a Muslim man I met on the internet. He told me he loved me and wanted to marry me after three days and I went along with it (for some reason I can't imagine). After 8 mo. of talking I went to Europe and spent 3 mo. with him. When I got there, I found out he was talking to other women online, and when I confronted him about it, he made excuses and got angry. That was red flag number two (which I also ignored). After I left and came back to the US, I filed his immigration forms (which cost over a thousand dollars) and con't. to talk to him online. I kept getting a feeling like there was another woman in the picture, but it was so hard to tell because of the distance. When he finally got to the US after about a year, he had a dating profile on his computer out in the open for me to see. He told me it was his friends site (but it had his picture, I mean, how stupid did he think I was?) so, I again ignored another red flag. Our wedding had already been planned and I felt like I had to go through with it. When we were wedding dress shopping, a waitress gave him her phone number and he took it. We had just bought our rings! I married him two days later, to my chagrin. The wedding was not a happy one for me, I wanted to run for the hills, but I felt like I had to marry him because he had come so far to marry me. We are still married, and as far as I know he has been faithful. But he is very controlling and abusive, and it has happened gradually. He seemed great in the beginning, he was very charming. But he has fits of rage in which he breaks things around our house. He is verbally and emotionally abusive. He never comforts me when I cry and tries to control our finances. I have a separate account, so I have avoided complete control in that area. He wants to send most of our money back home to his family who is not suffering for anything, while we struggle to make a living. He tries to control what I wear, but I have let him know that I won't be controlled in that way. He expects me to be home all the time cooking and cleaning, but I have let him know that I'm a student and won't be doing that as much as he would like. He never gives me any praise or compliments. He's very critical of everything, especially my appearance (although he doesn't care about his own health). I'm also at the point where I'm not sure if this is going to work. I've decided to: 1) create and state good boundaries 2) communicate clearly and 3) see if we can work to find a balance between our two cultures. If not, I am prepared to go, because life is too short to be yanked around on someone else's leash. 

    • Ali Sina says:

      Why are you staying? No, it is not going to work Leave now, I mean today and for heaven's sake make sure you don't bring to work a child with this man.

  7. Demsci says:

    @RAs
    What is your motivation to become a Muslim? Why the postponement? Do you first intend to have a lot of pleasure with things forbidden by Islam?

    Remember, once you're in Islam you're stuck, in Islam, and forbidden to think outside it's box so to speak, forbidden to believe anything science comes up with that contradicts Islam, stuck in your development in your hopefully long life.

    What if Islam is "perfect" for you and attractive but UNTRUE, only manmade, as is abundantly shown here and elsewhere? Do you still choose for it, just because it feels good? Remember, then heaven and hell are also not true.

    What if you later, when you are Muslim, find out, as we have, that the Quran, which has # 6300 verses, has only 83 "nice verses" and 543 very hateful verses for Kaffirs, non-Muslims?

    What if you later learn that so many of your fellow-Muslims worldwide really are "stuck in the past", narrow-minded, oppressing women? Look at the movie Honor Diaries (easy to google) or it's trailer. In there we see a Taliban-man repeatedly strike a woman with a whip. But you already knew Muslims weren't perfect, of course.

    Can't you find something more useful to do with your life? You could hardly do worse than making yourself a slave (of Allah). 

  8. RAs says:

    i am not a muslim… but i am planning to become one after I graduate since i am living in a non-muslim country.Islam is perfect…but not muslims…

    • cchuckc says:

      @RAs
      How do you know its perfect? And perfect in what?

    • Demsci says:

      You are stuck because it is official: It is forbidden to leave Islam on pain of death. Check this carefully if you don't believe us. Muslims may only tell you this when it is already too late.

      Did you hear from Muslims something like: "There is no compulsion in religion" as a rule in Islam? Oh, but we already know and later (when you are inside) they will tell you that that verse is abrogated by the verse of the sword, which means business with war.

  9. halimah says:

    If anyone agrees with me please post

  10. halimah says:

    I am a muslim and I am totally devoted to my religion everyone here is reffering (looking) at the bad side of islam.I've been a muslim since I was a born and I would not do anything to change it  
    Because I look at my religion in a different way if you look and understand islam properly you will see that it has the answers to the whole world things that just can't be explained.I'm not trying to say all muslims are perfect of course were not no one is unfortunatly there are some bad people out there but be pesamistic look at rhe bright side .if anyones really intrested in what I'm saying or just want answers please look into islam carefully .our religion is always misinterpreted the thing that is wrong with our world today is if they read one thing they think the whole thing is bad. I may just be a 12 year old girl but my devotion as a muslim is something that can never be broken even if I'm not the perfect muslim.I know what I'm saying doesn't really relate to the topic but it's extremely important to me. 

    • Demsci says:

      //"may just be a 12 year old girl but my devotion as a muslim is something that can never be broken even if I'm not the perfect muslim"//
      Halimah, if it is true that you are so young, you are only just beginning life. And it is possible that you live to be a 100 years old. How can you say that your devotion to be Muslim will never be broken?

      First of all, aren't you now fully dependent on your parents and community? Of course you cannot do anything else now than stay in Islam.

      But when you are an adult, then you can choose. And you may find something to replace Islam with. You know, it is simply a wrong reason to be devoted to a religion only because your parents and friends are in it. That was the case with the pagans before Islam too, but Mohammed disapproved of that, didn't he? He was not in favor of eternal loyalty to the religion one is born in, but he was in favor of choosing the best, the truest, religion around, despite what someones parents believed and practiced.

      I believe in a different God and evolution and why is it different now from the time of Mohammed when someone asks persons to shed the false religion of their parents, Islam, and replace it with a truer religion, or maybe set of truer beliefs.

      If your ancient forefathers could change from paganist idolators to Muslim, why can't you in your adult life change from Muslim to a truer religion, a truer set of beliefs? Didn't your ancestors love their parents like you?Or did their parents perhaps let them free to choose?

      Remember, choosing a religion is not about being loyal to your parents or community or people, you can be totally loyal to them in other ways. No, choosing a religion is about seeking the highest truth you can find. and shedding untruth, even if told by parents, loved ones.

      And if parents and loved ones really understood what unconditional love was, they would let you be completely free to search for and belief in the highest truth you can find and to shed untruth.

      But it could well be that both you and your parents/ loved ones just are not committed to find the highest truth and real freedom of religion. And if this is so, how can you criticize or question us, who LOVE TO FIND the highest truth we can find and for that have shedded many untruths? Many writers and posters here DID KNOW Islam, and even WERE MUSLIMS themselves. Why shouldn't they understand Islam better than you and your parents? Why would they have concluded it was false and faulty?

    • Demsci says:

      /"our religion is always misinterpreted"//
      And don't you think that that is because your religion is:  UNCLEAR, INCOMPLETE, OBSOLETE, AMBIGUOUS? TOO DIFFICULT to understand? And notice that not only infidels misinterpret, but that millions of Muslims, according to other Muslims, also misinterpret your religion!

      //"today is if they read one thing they think the whole thing is bad."//
      And can't you imagine that those who taught you Islam and you yourself are so naive that if you read one thing that is true and good in Islam, you think the WHOLE Islam is true and good?

    • Demsci says:

      Remember, Halima, back in the time of Mohammed, in the 7th century, there were not so many people as now. And now there is so much more knowledge, literally millions times more, and people are so much better educated!

      And think about it. If Adam was the first prophet, and Mohammed the last, why is the gap between Mohammed and the day of judgement so wide and maybe getting wider for a hundred years from now or more? Between Isa and Mohammed there were merely some 600 years, and MOhammed came to rectify humans. Why wasn't rectification of humans necessary in 1400 years, when humans changed and learned so much?

    • shaiva_hindu says:

      You should know the facts about Islam first. Try reading your religious books to your satisfaction.

      Take some random facts like pedophilia,child marriage,slavery,hate against Jews ,killing of animals,etc. from Islam question yourself (ask your elders/Mullahs instead if you have guts you'll know another aspect of Islam )are they something a religion should propagate or you should become a medium to propagate such things.

      You should once take a look at the book :Understanding Mohammad by Ali Sina.(If you ask Ali he might give a free copy) to clear your doubts about Islam.

      // our religion is always misinterpreted the thing that is wrong with our world
      Do you know about the debates none of the muslim scholars were able to respond satisfactorily after reading Ali's book.

      You have 2 options :
      1)Read the book then comment choice will be your's.
      2)Live in blind faith without knowing the true face of Islam as most others do.

    • Ali Sina says:

      Sweetheart, when I was your age, I too thought my faith is unshakable. But you are young and there is still a lot to learn. Who can say you won't be the won who will help millions to leave Islam?

  11. Superman says:

    But muslim never judge religion from people …only christain do it…muslims read other religion understand it and then judge it..

    • Demsci says:

      //"But muslim never judge religion from people"//

      Interesting. But according to Muslims God + Mohammed introduced (maybe a better version of) Islam. For what purpose? What influence it was supposed to have? Has it worked? Did it perhaps work for a while, but now no longer?

      What if Islam does not make any significant difference in the goodness, morality, happiness of people? What if Muslims are just as good or bad on average as all the other people?

      Then Islam surely is superfluous. And abiding to it and it's rituals can be classified as a "hobby". Or it is just done to please Allah", who then is very selfish, only asking people to support, gratify, promote himself, not humanity.

  12. Superman says:

    WHO the hell gave right to christian to talk about Islam…..?…….How can an engineer treat a patient and a doctor fix an engine…..you all guys donot make sense talking all bullshits….Realting your shit worldly problems to Islam….If you want to marry a Muslim man then covert to Islam then you will know the benefits of Islam…or if u dont want to convert to Islam then marry a christain…Does ISLAM forces you to marry a muslim.????   Little knowledge is a dangerous thing…you need to completely read Islam to understand it…not from a few words from your punk loser friend said about islam…..it is different when you read Islam completely..knowing something alittle bit and knowing some thing completely is hell different…its same as you learnt how to take off an aircraft and you didnt learn how to land…and you are blaming the aircraft…its same as you are watching a movie ,a guy is killing somebody and you said a bad guy a killer ,and you didnt see the movie,s earlier  part where the victum kills his mother…
    There Good people and bad people..I m not defending muslims..Muslims are people they can be good they can be bad…Same as not all the christain are good..there are rapist ,gay, prostitutes…and offcourse Good people…

    If you blame Islam because of muslims then i will say some other christain is using your brain to do it,,,your parents your christain friends all of the anti muslims around you and your society but not you….Again i m not defending islam..

    Think normally..use  the frontal lobe of your brain..MusliM.  Is a person a human,,a man Islam is a religion.   So how can you blame a religion because a person..Islam is a religion Muslims are people. ,people can be good and bad…Or if you dont understood,,,,there are gay and prostitutes and rapist in christain countries ie nonmuslim coutries,,,should the muslims blame christianity for it..does the bile orders you to be gays ,prostitutes and rapist..and use drugs ,night clubs and one night stands and much more….offcourse muslim understand christainity more than christain do as Jesus is mention more respectfully is the Koran.
    So this is the huge shit in christain people mind they judge Islam from people…people can be good and bad…there are good muslims and bad muslims…there are good christain and bad christain..

    • Lenin Gostrich says:

      /Think normally..use the frontal lobe of your brain./

      OK .What do you mean by the term PEDOPHILE?

    • Demsci says:

      //"WHO the hell gave right to christian to talk about Islam…..?…….How can an engineer treat a patient and a doctor fix an engine"//

      What you write here is preposterous in a democratic society, Superman! Everybody, knowledgeable about Islam or not, has the right to talk about it! And form judgement, especially when some Christians are hurt by some Muslims. And that happens, a lot, in Islamic countries. And it is known and shown by MEMRITV and websites such as this.

      But also, there are infidels professors and ex-Muslims and interested infidels who know Islam inside out and there are many Muslims who hardly (bother to) know Islam at all. And that is interesting because according to you they need to completely read Islam to understand it. But we know many don't. And misinterpret it. And when we report this, don;t blame us, but educate the misinterpreting Muslims, please.

      But the rule in Islam is that nobody born in Islam may apostasize on pain of death. And why is that if so many Muslims, like the boyfriend in the story, do not even know Islam very well???

    • Demsci says:

      //"So how can you blame a religion because a person..Islam is a religion Muslims are people. ,people can be good and bad…"//

      Do we blame and oppose Islam because of persons? OK. So now, why do you PRAISE and support Islam? Is this not also because of persons?!

      you must think that Islam is good because Muslims you know are GOOD people. Now then, what if that really is a MISTAKE of YOU?

      Because those GOOD Muslims may be only good because of outside influence and not because of Islam! And you already know, you said it yourself, that there are GOOD people in other religions, beliefs too. So what is it that makes Islam unique, or better than the other religions?

      We say; there is nothing in Islam that is not also found in other religions, so why do YOU keep PRAISING and supporting Islam, so why do you criticize us for BLAMING Islam and replacing it with something we think is better?

  13. Unknown says:

    Hey  Mr. Sina, you forgot to write the moral of this story?  OK i will add that for you. :D
    And the moral of this story is "Haters always hate" I am sure you are part of Zionism which are filling your mouth with money like the Wafa Sultan. And because of people like you, many other people hate good people. Your this blog is doing nothing except spreading hate among Human. Remember one thing, Good and Bad People are everywhere even in Iran and Canada. You proved your wisdom level by this blog ;)
    I read stories and it all seems fake to me. Do you have any source to prove these stories?. In the end i just want to say spread love, not hate. Respect Humanity.  Hope you like the moral of this story. 
    :D

    • shaiva_hindu says:

      That's the line losers often use .The truth is you couldn't defend Islam.There are abundance of facts that islam too is made up of lies.

  14. ksather109 says:

    Dear C-
    I see that I am late to this conversation, with the first comments posted over 62 weeks ago.I am not one to ever comment on posts, but your story touched me deeply as I can relate in a very personal way. I too, met and fell in love with an arab man. I too, met and married him in secret fearing my family's disapproval. I too, was married nearly two years before the hopelessness of my situation came to a head.

    When I first met my husband he seemed to be a dream come true! So handsome, so charming, so worldly. It was such a magical adventure for a small town girl from the midwest. I guess I was dazzled. His family was good and gracious to me (with the exception of one of his brother-in-laws) I was never pressured or asked to convert to Islam. I was told by him and that since I am Christian, I was considered people of the book and should be respected. While I was living with his family, I was introduced to other Christians living in the city. I truly believed I had met the perfect man. I believed he would love, respect and honor me as I did him. I was so eager for our life to begin in USA, but that is when it all changed.

    It started out with little things. Asking my opinion on things and then taking the word of some stranger (male) over mine. Mocking me for my pale skin and blue eyes (things he had once professed to love about me). Slowly, my self esteem and confidence began to crumble. Questioning my whereabouts on night I worked overtime, I actually had to take him to my office to show a time stamp on the software project I was working on before he would believe I had not been out being a "slut". He would lie to me, he would lie about me. He was so unpredictable. One moment he was his "old self" loving and charming, the next moment he was cursing me. then the physical abuse began. I became a nervous wreak. I was constantly walking on egg shells to keep the peace. It began to effect my health.

    Thankfully, one morning I woke and decided this is not the life God had intended for me. As a child of God, I know I am entitled to love and respect, just as God loves me. I filed for divorce on November 1, 2006 and it was final by Nov.12th. When I received the final papers it was as if a tremendous weight had been lifted from me. I am not saying everything was easy and rosey after the divorce. It was not. I took plenty of time to heal and forgive myself. It took even longer to regain my confidence and learn to trust myself again. But it came be done.

    I guess what I am trying to say is, although it will be painful and difficult, you can and will come through the other side a better and happier person. My advice to you is focus on your school, be by yourself and truly learn who you are. Marriage can be a good thing, if the husband is the right person for you. You should both support respect and lift each other up. I wish you luck and strength.

    On a side note, I have noticed many people on this forum making this an issue about the evils of Islam. These posts should focus on assisting a women to leave an abusive marriage and giving her strength. I would remind everyone that where ever you go in this world there are good people and bad people. It makes no difference if the are christian, jews, hindus,muslims black, white or polk-a-dot. Some people just suck. There are also wonderful, good people to be found in every nation and of every creed. As Martin Luther King Jr. once said, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
    Love God, love yourself and the rest will follow.

  15. GorgeousFemale says:

    I have also dated an Arab man from Iraq/Jordan for two years from 21 years old to 23 years old. I wasn't really in love with him at the beginning but he someone got me to fall deep in love with him about 6 months later of going on dates with him. He was so intelligent, responsible, gentle-man like, generous, and always said the most romantic words to me. It was like he was too perfect especially at such a young age (20 years old), no American young adult man is like that, they don't start becoming like that until they reach 30 years old so I totally fell for this too-good-to-be-true young Arab man. Well two years later, emotional abuse started to happen, he would let his friends sexually harass me and do nothing about it, his friends who he hadn't even been friends with that long, he had been dating me longer, would always be on his friends' sides more than mine, I was shocked, it hurt me terribly. Better yet, at the end of our relationship right before the final break up, he would make fun of me to his classmates/friends about me and it was just total self-destruction/harassment/ I felt so embarassed and so weak and humilated and worthless. There's no reason anyone should do this to you especially your boyfriend or romantic partner. At the beginning he did propose to me, but hearing many negative words from my family and other american natives about the arab men, I thought twice, I loved him so much but I did not have my full trust in him from hearing negative words from the past about them, THANK GOD AND THANK MY FAMILY FOR TELLING ME THE TRUTH ABOUT ARAB MENlAT THE VERY BEGINNING, or else I might have been doomed like the initial writer of this blog. Since our breakup, I have learned to hate arab men. They cannot be trusted. They act so innocent, loving, respecful, too-good at the very beginning, ladies….!!! Listen up, it is so fake. Never trust arab men, they will ruin your inner spirit that once was beautiful and healthy. They will torture you emotionally and possibly even physically. Be warned…

    • Ali Sina says:

      Change Arab with Muslim, If I were a western woman I would not date a Muslim man. from any country.

  16. GorgeousFemale says:

    Arab men suck. They seem perfect at the beginning and once you fall deep in love with them and they know it, you are doomed!! That is there whole plan at the beginning, to get you to fall in love with them so once they got you, they take away your soul and kill your inner spirit that was once beautiful and healthy. They destroy you. They abuse you emotionally and physically. Arab men think they are inferior to women which is absurb. You beautiful women out there, take care of yourself, don't let an ignorant Arab man or yet anyone damage you in anyway because no one has the right to do that to anyone. Go get strong, start eating healthy balanced nutrition-rich meals, go work out at the gym including weight-bearing weights, do some yoga, join a jiu jitsu class (there's hot gorgeous good-hearted AMERICAN men there that you can meet :) ) go get happy, strong, and independent, and be good to yourself, respect yourself, and be the gorgeous woman you have always been. You always deserve the better man, and always deserve better. 

  1. 23 December, 2012

    [...] It appears that there is some newsworthy development. Sina’s reply to me in one of his comments. [...]

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